Two posts in one day! Outrageous!

Being that the Olympics are going on, I feel obligated to mention that I have recently become obsessed with curling. It's funny. I went from knowing nothing about the sport, except that it was weird, to knowing and understanding much more than the average person. What I also find interesting, Albany and Schenectady (both about 20 minutes from my house) both have curling clubs. And Schenectady's is the biggest in the Northeast! However, I can't figure out how to join it. The Albany one seemed simple, but you have to pay over $200 per year. No good. But if I can figure out how to join Schenectady's, I am fairly certain that I could be Olympic material by 2014. I am soooo worried that I am going to get angry comments from good curlers. Actually, I'm not going to get any comments from anyone, but I don't want to upset the curlers, so I am going to provide everyone in Internetland with a brief history of curling and explain how the game works.

Curling is first documented in Scotland in 1541, with its first depictions painted by Dutch artist Peiter Bruegel the Elder. However, there may be evidence that it came into being several years earlier. In the United States, the first curling club was established in 1830. There were Olympic curling competitions in the 1924 and 1932, but it was not an official event until 1998.

Curling cannot be played on regular hockey ice, as the ice needs to be as smooth and level as possible. The set-up looks like this:

This isn't quite to scale because I dragged it to make it fit better, but you get the general idea. A team stands at one end and curls the stone towards the other, trying to get as close to the center as possible. In this sense, it's almost like bocce. I've also heard it be compared to shuffleboard, but I don't know enough about shuffleboard to back up those claims. Where it becomes most unlike bocce, and any other sport for that matter is the sweepers. Two men with brooms stay ahead of the stone while it's moving to influence its speed and direction. It's painfully interesting, mostly because it feels like the sport is moving so slowly, but the teams keep scoring (I haven't quite got the scoring process figured out yet), and you're sucked in.

To change the subject completely, I feel the need to do a comparison of David Bowie and Lady Gaga. It was brought to my attention earlier today that Ellen Degeneres agrees with me that they both have very much in common, so I think I need to perform an analysis.

1. Well, let's start with the obvious, odds are they're both from outer space. End of discussion
2. Terry Urban mash the two into a concept album called Lady Stardust because he agreed with Ellen and I. You can download if for free on his site. You can also stream what I am assuming to be his radio show there too. It's pretty good.
3. Rumor has it that David Bowie met one of his wives because they both had the same boyfriend. Lady Gaga claims to be bisexual as well.
4. Lady Gaga lists Bowie as one of her influences, quite possibly the reason for the similarities
5. They both have penises.

Okay that's a stretch, but I think that's all I've got for now. Honestly, I believe it's too early in her career for anymore real parallels to be drawn. This is it for today. Goodnight!

Cake & Energy Drinks

So today, Cake Decorating was much more enjoyable. No cake anxiety! We did character cakes, which should be self-explanitory if you look at the picture. I had every intention of doing a narwhal, but I couldn't get it printed in time for my 8am class, so I ended up doing Elmo. Not my first choice, but it came out really well.

Do not buy a Wilton cake pan in the shape of your child's favorite cartoon character that you will only use once. This technique is so simple and you can do it with any image you want.

Here is the picture transferring technique:

1. Print a large image off the computer (should fit a standard 8x11 sheet). It shouldn't be terribly detailed because you have to pipe it; the more of it that's just outline, the better.

2. Trace this picture onto parchment. You could also freehand if you wanted.

3. Once your cake is cooled and frosted, trace on the parchment drawing with black piping gel or icing.

4. Take the now iced parchment and place it on the cake. BE CAREFUL. This is one of those things that where ever you put it is where it has to stay, so don't fuck it up. Press gently on the parchment to ensure that the icing leaves a mark. Pull up the parchment and you should have a black-ish outline of your character. Don't worry about skips in the line, you are going to go over it.

5. Outline your character with icing in the color it should be. For example, I used red for Elmo, but you would use black for Hello Kitty, green for a Ninja Turtle, etc. For the nose and crayons I outlined in orange; change colors accordingly.

6. Fill in like a coloring book. We used stars to fill in the characters. This, however, is not an industry standard. You could just as easily fill the shapes, then go over it with an offset spatula to smooth it out.

And then you will have a beautiful cake.

Some tips:
Use your time wisely. Make sure you have enough to complete the project; it will take longer than you expect. And multitask: while the cake is baking and cooling get your frosting made and colored.
Make sure your cake is completely cooled. May seem obviously, but no one wants melted frosting on their cake.
The more pastry bags and couplers you have, the more colors you can have ready to go at once.
Try to make sure your frosting is cold when you use it. As you hold it, it will warm up and get loose.
Be careful with colored frosting. Darker colors will stain, and it is better to use a disposable pastry bag for them. Also, I have a giant red spot on my arm from Elmo.

That's all I have to say about that.

I would also like to talk about energy drinks. I was never a fan before, but lately I've totally been getting into them. Right now, I am drinking an Amp Energy drink, which is going to "bring my mind to a whole new level to keep connected, focused, and alerted." It will also "sharpen my game." I'm slightly skeptical.

I find it interesting that they are calling this an energy supplement, which I guess it is, but I don't think people really think of it as a supplement. If that's the case, why aren't Pepsi and coffee supplements? Speaking of Pepsi, the website I took that picture from stated that this flavor of Amp tasted like Pepsi Blue. From my vague memory of Pepsi Blue, I'd have to say I agree, this is probably less syrupy sweet, but the flavors are about the same.

Another thing about energy drinks that peeks my curiosity is the ingredients and their functions. Obviously, caffeine is included, but what are all those other ingredients?

Let's start off with taurine. Commonly rumored to be derived from bull urine, semen, or bile, in all food or medical uses, it is synthetic. Taurine occurs naturally in many foods, especially meat and seafood. Interestingly, it has not been proven to increase energy. It is necessary to skeletal and muscular function, and may lower blood pressure, but no increase in energy. So it seems that it has no adverse effects, but also does no good, except to maybe fix the spike in blood pressure caused by caffeine? I'm clueless. This needs more research than I'm willing to do right now.

Guarana seed however, seems to be more useful. It contains about double the caffeine found in coffee beans. The seeds come from the guarana plant, a member of the maple family that grows primarily in the Amazon. Brazil actually produces several guarana based soft drinks.

Another key player: ginseng. Typically found in "tea" varieties of drinks or "functional foods," it is also used in either its root or leaf state as a dietary aid for people with type II diabetes and sexual dysfunction in males. However, nonclinical uses tend to be too low in dosage to have much effect, similar to taurine.

This drink inparticular boasts that its L-theanine will help me to focus, but its dosage is only 12mg, whereas the taurine and guarana are 148 mg and 124 mg, respectively. Wikipedia has relatively little information here, but basically, it reduces mental and physical stress, and improves mood in a manner similar to caffiene. It also mentions that there is little to no harmful effects in large doses. So why does this only contain 12mg? I'm going to assume that's because there hasn't been enough research done.

Okay, I feel that this post has been thoroughly informative, and more of a step in the right direction. Adieu!

p.s.
Blogger, can you please start putting my images where I leave the cursor? It's a pain in the ass to move them.

The Writing Process

No, not the high school bullshit researchreviseresearchheadexplodes writing process. My writing process. My inspiration. I am a mess. Seriously, in the past ten minutes I've probably found snipets (literally, torn pieces of paper and everything) of 3 or 4 songs/poems that I've written and shoved in the pocket of my jeans, just to come home and be like, "Eh, I'll deal with this later." Not to mention the group stored in my phone that I tend to forget about.

So I'm sitting in bed with my guitar trying to assemble something, fill in gaps, figure out what works with which melody, tone, etc. It's frustrating. Not to mention that the inspiration comes from people and places and everything all at once in a jumbled mess. Like, if I want to write a song about someone, I don't want them to have to share it with someone else, but, simultaneously, it might not be clicking. And I don't believe that when you write for yourself (as in something not required), that you can half-ass anything. You become the only person you're letting down if you think what you've created sounds like shit. Honestly, this is probably the only situation where I don't take the easy way out.

I like passion. I like when people have something to give a shit about. I don't like people who take art and music as a technical thing. Who is anyone to say that I need X choruses and Y verses. I will put a chorus and verse wherever I see fit, goddammit. And I can barely even talk about rhyming: it has a time and place. Don't make a list of words that rhyme, make the lines evolve around that; you will sound like Dr. Seuss. If you can't think of something that sounds good, then it's just not going to happen. And it's not just the rhyme that can affect how it sounds. If your voice isn't singing it right, then it isn't going to sound right. If you listen to Paranoia in B Major by The Avett Brothers, there's a line that says, "And if love is a game, girl, then you're gonna win./I'll spend the rest of my life bringing victory in." Just reading that I don't think it sounds good, but when he sings it, you can feel the passion in the words. He means what he's saying, and I firmly believe that that is one of the key factors in quality writing.

Okay, I've satisfied my need to vent. Maybe tomorrow I'll get something recorded and post it. Unlikely, but perhaps.

Hello again.

So I obviously haven't posted in quite some time. Let's recap the past year or so:

I've had two cars die and one not start on a regular basis (it just needed a battery though). I am currently driving a 2000, which after the 1994 and 1992 is practically brand new!

My love life is still, more or less, nonexistent, and I'm totally fine with that. My pretend valentine did get me real flowers though.

I got a new job! I'm a line cook. And apparently the industry standard that servers and cooks don't get along does not exist here. For the most part, I work with wonderful people. It is also improving my Spanish, which didn't exist before.

I don't think I was even in school when I started this. Culinary school is awesome! Even classes that are involve waiting tables aren't terrible because no one in the class is particularly fond of it. However, I did confirm my suspicions that I was not/never will be a cake decorator. I now suffer from severe cake anxiety.

Other important events of 2009:
Lady Gaga. I have a t-shirt.
I'm still working my way through the 1001 movies you must see before you die. Not even sure if I mentioned that before, but I was definitely working on it.
I am now an avid fan of mash-ups. Hopefully, I will be able to figure out how to choose awesome songs to put together (who would've though Jay-z and Radiohead would be perfect?!) and start creating some of my own.

I think that's about it. I wish my life was more fun and exciting. I also wish I knew what I was going to turn this blog into. I have a feeling it is not so much going the food route anymore because I'm never home and I pretty much don't cook ever. So unless it's pictures of this I make at school it probably won't be here. If anyone is out there in Itnernetland, you should let me know what you want to read about.

Well, back to the list of movies for a brief moment. I spent my day today (my only real day off all week) watching movies. For whatever reason, today was mostly documentaries, and if you're at all into food or what you eat, you should check out Food, Inc. I've been a vegetarian for years so I didn't really find out anything I didn't already know, but if you're completely oblivious, look into it. The picture right here though has absolutely nothing to do with Food, Inc. It's from Stanley Kubrick's Lolita. Yes, based on the book. The movie's tag line was even, "How did they ever make a movie of Lolita?" Kubrick knew what he was getting into. I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me summarize: Lolita is the story of an older (50?) man and a twelve year old girl that fall in love. Even by today's standards, the subject is taboo; this was made in 1962. The film industry was still under pressure from the Hays Code, though its power was waning. After the film's completion, Kubrick even said that he wouldn't have made it if he had realized how difficult it would be. The actress they chose to portray Lolita had to be at least fourteen and well-developed, as the industry did not want a prepubescent girl to be considered an object of desire. They couldn't show any affection past what would be considered fatherly. I was insanely surprised that they got away with allowing him to get in bed with her in one scene (granted, it was only to sleep). This movie is the definition of "less is more." Another thing I found interesting about this movie: it was filmed in part in Albany, NY. I looked into it, and found that it was nothing involving the actors or even Kubrick, just scenery, interesting nonetheless though.

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Alright, so the internet at my house is all sorts of screwed up, so I couldn't post this last night. Not that anyone knew about it or was concerned. I am currently at school on the first of two 2-1/2 hour breaks. I really should be polishing/completing an essay that's due at 2:30, but, ya know, it's not due for two more hours.

Because I'm a culinary student, my schedule runs differently from everyone else's (except maybe music students, but they live in the other building so it doesn't really matter). And I just found out about college hour. Now maybe this is totally normal and every college does it, but I was unaware, and I am now amazed. Between 12 and 1 there are not scheduled classes. It's crazy. The cafeteria fills up for about 45 minutes then empties. It's like a tornado. Actually, right now because of it, I am sitting awkwardly close to an older man who didn't leave. He has several large textbooks that are making me glad I don't take accounting. I wish we had stronger coffee also. There used to be a really good Starbucks one here, a solid bold, dark roast, but over the summer they switched to Dunkin Donuts, and only have the original blend. Not terrible, but I know it could be better. I also wish we had better/more vegetarian food. People always expect the food in the cafeteria here to be outstanding because of the culinary program, but the school is part of the SUNY system, and therefore falls under their contract. Every now and again the pizza is pretty good, but what I had today was edible at best. Also, for some reason a little cup of hummus and pretzels is $3.25. I can buy a can of chickpeas for $.79. Not okay. And I've had people argue that it's because of the tahini. When I make hummus, I use about a tablespoon of tahini per can of chickpeas. The amount of hummus you would have to make to use that entire container is obscene. Wonderful, but obscene.



In other news, I am still a cake disaster. It didn't help that the room was too warm, so the buttercream was softening and becoming difficult to work with. The picture is doing this much more justice than the fluorescent lights of the lab, but the bumps and scraps in the icing are definitely there. Whatever, I'm blaming the school's ineffective heating system. In my defense however, cake decorating is my only flaw. Okay, not quite, but International Baking and Pastry is going much better. This week's menu is Ireland. I think every dessert we made had some type of alcohol in it. No potatoes though. Before I get ahead of myself, let me explain the class. Just about every day of the week, the school's dining room is open to the public, by reservation. There is a class that serves, another class that cooks (Classical Cuisine, I have it tomorrow), and a third class that provides the bread and desserts. The fall semester provides a glimpse into the wide variety of cuisines from different regions of America. In the Spring though, it is essentially a trip around the world. Actually, it's only Europe. They used to do Asian cuisine, but don't anymore for some reason (almost every guest complains about it). I'm sure eventually they will incorporate African, South American, Indian, and Russian cuisines. I just seems that the public is out-of-tune with trends in the industry sometimes.



But back to baking and Ireland. Guiness Ice Cream. Not something worth taking a picture of, but totally delicious. It actually tasted like Guiness, but not bitter. Malt syrup was used in addition to sugar to provide hints of sweetness and simultaneously mask the Guiness taste that would make it unappealing in ice cream. This was served with a Sticky Toffee Pudding. A moist cake by American standards. Much better than I expected it to be, after the first step was boiling about half a pound of dates. It tasted like carrot cake. Another interesting thing about pudding: ovaltine. Not enough to really taste it, but the recipe called for a good amount of ovaltine. I used to loooove ovaltine when I was a kid. My grandmother used to give it to my brother and I because it was super healthy? Maybe? Whatever, what's not to love about a dessert with both childhood memories & beer? I didn't get a picture of the whole thing plated up, but these ones were packed for the school's bakeshop.

I've been thinking. I am going to start writing more. More like I did in high school. Once I challenged myself to write 100 poems in 100 days. And guess what?! I did it. Now I'm lucky if I can get something written once a week. I'll save a line or two in my phone about daily, but as far as my career as a starving poet which has been in the works since 9th grade? I think I'm too cocky. I could've been an English major, got my degree, then wrote and wrote and wrote for years to come. Instead I am a culinary major, still working on the degree, already have a job in the field, work my ass off. Nothing makes sense. That's a total lie. I didn't go to school for English because I think I'm awesome. No joke. I don't believe that writing is something that can be taught. Grammar, sentence structure, citations: yeah, of course. But you can't write if you can't feel. I write shitty essays about topics that I don't care about. I have no problem admitting that. Sometimes there just isn't an emotion.

Okay, speaking of essay writing, I am now officially procrastinating. That needs to get done. And my coffee's getting cold. All in all, I would say this is an entirely successful back-in-action post.

One final word, I just used spellcheck. The following words do not exist: Internetland, buttercream, tahini, and could've