So with the semester drawing to a close (I can count the classes I have left on one hand!), I feel like I should have something to say. This semester was by far one of the strangest I've had. By this, I mean that I feel like I changed, and I don't know how to explain it more than that. I am a different person that I was in January. I'm a different person than I was this time last year. I don't think it's an extreme kind of different, in fact, I'm probably the only one who noticed.

I feel this uncontrollable urge to leave. To travel, to disappear. I want to go somewhere and not know anyone. Walk up to someone in a book or movie store and have a conversation. A complete stranger, neither one of us hoping to get anything out of it, just two people in the same place at the same time. I need to find someone like me.

I definitely have more to say, but I have class in 5 minutes and I need to get there so I don't fail. Absolutely more to come later.

EDIT:
Okay, it's now about 2 hours later, and I'm at Panera having lunch.

But back to what I was saying.
I want to do what I want on my own time. I bought a lottery ticket last night, and when I was thinking about what I would do if I won, I realized that nothing would change. I'd still be the same person, just with more than $200 in my bank account. I don't think having money would change me. I might buy more things. I would save some, donate some, but as a whole I think I'd stay the same. And now I feel like I'm repeating myself and it's making me sound like I'm trying to convince myself of this, but that's not the case. I just really believe it, and I don't have another way to word it. Not that it's at all likely that I would win the lottery, but I had a chance. Millions of people have a chance.

I wish Upstate NY was less suburban. I went to Manchester, VT yesterday, and went in this old bookstore, and I didn't even see a chain bookstore anywhere. It was wonderful. An old building, hand written staff recommendations on everything. The kind of place I could see myself hanging out. I don't know what I'm writing this. It's like I'm trying to find some other lost soul searching the Internet for someone too. I wish I knew that someone read this, and cared. Not is a creepy way, but just to say "hey. I'm out here too."