RELOCATED

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VI. Telephone

Remember when we used to live for the weekend?
Now we're working twelve to twelve.
Remember when the sun used to light the whole city?
Now it's just the fires in hell.
And remember when I never answered my phone?
Well, guess what? That's happening still.
I think about you too often; I'm crazy,
But I swear, it's against my will.

I don't even notice I'm rhyming the words,
But I suppose it's found its way into my bones.
But like I was saying, I think if you call me,
I'll consider picking up the phone.
We can go out on a Tuesday,
Unless you work Wednesdays, or if you're okay being tired that's cool.
Better yet, let's make it a Monday,
Drink some wine, watch a movie, and I'm starting to sound like a fool.
What if I play a song that you know all the words to?
Promise me you'll sing along.
I'll be way too uncomfortable to serenade you,
Plus, I'll probably play the whole thing wrong.

6/100, 17 May 2010

V. City

It's a quiet city night
In your quiet city life.
As you sleep by the quiet city lights,
I am driving past your window with the radio loud,
Stirring you from slumber
Like stars fell from the sky tonight.

So I leave my house tonight
With just a dollar and a pocket knife
And when I look into your eyes,
All I see is a kiss-collide.

5/100, 15 May 2010

IV. Sun in My Arms

I want to fall asleep with the sun in my arms.
This imaginary love can become real,
Something will finally be able to keep me warm.
Mid-May and my feet are like ice,
My hands are shaking and something is wrong.

How has time passed this quickly without anyone noticing?
School's are getting out for the summer already,
But you never came, so you never left.

4/100, 13 May 2010

III. Slight

I hate everyone.

No, not hate,
It's just an anger that comes and goes with the scent in the air before the rains.

And no, not everyone.
Not you,
Blue eyes, lips slightly parted.
I see you smiling in my sleep.

And I'm sorry that I am even capable for such heartache,
But I'm not settling for anything less
Than my dreams of soft whispers and soft kisses,
And blue eyes and slightly parted lips.

3/100, 11 May 2010

Crazy.

Am I crazy?

Two people asked me out on Tuesday within an hour of each other. It was the most awkward and frustrating experience ever because I knew they were both aware of what was going on. I told them both no, only because I have very, not even high, but specific standards. It's difficult to explain, but when I like-like someone, it has to be them, and I won't settle for less. Granted, I typically like more than one person at a time, so I still have options kind of. Because of this I'm okay with being single for the time being. It probably doesn't help that I'm not the kind of person to make a first move, but that's a different problem entirely. I just don't want to be let down.

Additionally, I spent a pretty solid amount of time on wikiHow this afternoon trying to figure out what flirting is, and how to identify it. The only conclusion I came to was that it's different for everyone. There are some things that may be pretty obvious, but even subconscious body language differs from person to person. This is where my aforementioned craziness begins. If someone repeatedly tells me that they like me and like having me around are they flirting or do they just think I'm a pretty cool person?! I know what I'm hearing, but I can't tell. I know what I want, but I can't act. Even if I flirt back, it might not even be perceived as flirting. Actually, that's probably false, considering the amount of people I have unknowingly flirted with and subsequently led on and on and on. It's a problem. And what's even weirder is the two people who asked me out Tuesday I don't believe I've flirted with or led on. One of them I'm friends with, he's an okay guy, but I don't want to get with him. The other, is a total creep that I avoided all contact with. He didn't even get a courteous response when he asked me, and I didn't feel the least bit bad saying no.

I am so glad school is done for the summer. The only real let down is that when I go back in September, only a small handful of my friends will still be there because everyone is graduating. I like new people though, so I guess I'm hoping for the best.


How about a short movie review?

I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang, released in 1932, directed by Mervyn LeRoy.

Paul Muni stars in this fantastic film. Being from 1932, I was worried about the quality of the DVD transfer, but it was crystal clear, widescreen, beautiful. The story is basically about a man who returns from the World War and refuses to return to a factory job, as much of his army time was spent doing engineering. This doesn't quite go as planned, and he ends up as a vagabond wandering from state to state. He eventually meets a man that offers to buy him a hamburger, and it is 100% clear that that is the only thing Muni's character wants. Well, as the burgers are cooking the man Muni met pulls out a gun and attempts to rob the joint, forcing Muni to empty the draw against his will. And of course, he gets caught and sentenced to several years of prison. In case the title didn't give it away, he escapes, and the movie starts to seem as though it may end happily. And from here on out the spoilers begins. Unfortunately he ends up back in prison after 8-ish years, with the promise of a 90 day pardon. He escapes again after that promise turns into a lie, and is forced to spend the rest of his life running from the police. In this respect, the movie ends on a very sour note. He sees the love of his life that he hasn't seen because he's been hiding, only to tell her that he is never going to see her again; that he is forced to steal food and clothes and only travel by the cloak of night. Overall, I thought it was a fantastic movie. Kind of similar to 1958's The Defiant Ones, but thinking about it now, that's really only because they both involve prison escapes. They would definitely make a good pair for a double feature though. Starting with this one and ending with the latter.

Alright, I believe that's all for now, I have a couple poems to post, but this was a solid post.

II. If It Was Not for You

It all makes sense now.
At some point disaster struck,
And what I thought was a miracle turned out to be a baited hook.

Songs about your shining eyes in my bed
Turn out to be filigree and bullshit.
You never heard a word
Because I never said a word.
And I know this is entirely my fault,
No matter how often I attempt to circumvent all the blame.

And it's a new face, new voice, new name every day.
So please, if you slowly and silently begin to read,
Don't fall for the wrong me,
Or the wrong line of poetry
Because if it was not for you, I cannot make it be.
So, I guess I'm sorry if someone else made you smile,
Be calm and quiet, I just need a little while
To let your hair and eyes sink into me.
Then you can hear your own words pouring from my teeth.

2/100, 10 May 2010

I. Machine

I need to return to the place I felt important,
Where something mattered,
Something counted as more than
Words on a page with a melody and a beat.
So if you smile when I sing,
Smile when I speak.
If I spoke more often then maybe
All of the thoughts in my head wouldn't drive me crazy.

So I'm back on the floor where I sat years ago,
Pen to paper, just letting the words flow
From my fingertips and into the pen
Then my heart spills out and I'm left cleaning it up again.
I want this to be passionate like it used to be,
Unlearn all the music, unlearn me.

1/100, 10 May 2010

I used to write. And in my opinion, I used to wrote pretty damn well. One time I even wrote 100 poems in 100 days. And as of today, I decided that I needed to do that again. Lately I've just been feeling shitty and uninspired, and I really find that writing not only puts me in a better mood and state of mind, but it also makes it easier to seek out inspiration and beauty in everyday life. Hopefully, this will work out as well as it did the last time. I just wrote two poems that I will most likely post here as soon as my computer feels like connectig to the Internet.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

So with the semester drawing to a close (I can count the classes I have left on one hand!), I feel like I should have something to say. This semester was by far one of the strangest I've had. By this, I mean that I feel like I changed, and I don't know how to explain it more than that. I am a different person that I was in January. I'm a different person than I was this time last year. I don't think it's an extreme kind of different, in fact, I'm probably the only one who noticed.

I feel this uncontrollable urge to leave. To travel, to disappear. I want to go somewhere and not know anyone. Walk up to someone in a book or movie store and have a conversation. A complete stranger, neither one of us hoping to get anything out of it, just two people in the same place at the same time. I need to find someone like me.

I definitely have more to say, but I have class in 5 minutes and I need to get there so I don't fail. Absolutely more to come later.

EDIT:
Okay, it's now about 2 hours later, and I'm at Panera having lunch.

But back to what I was saying.
I want to do what I want on my own time. I bought a lottery ticket last night, and when I was thinking about what I would do if I won, I realized that nothing would change. I'd still be the same person, just with more than $200 in my bank account. I don't think having money would change me. I might buy more things. I would save some, donate some, but as a whole I think I'd stay the same. And now I feel like I'm repeating myself and it's making me sound like I'm trying to convince myself of this, but that's not the case. I just really believe it, and I don't have another way to word it. Not that it's at all likely that I would win the lottery, but I had a chance. Millions of people have a chance.

I wish Upstate NY was less suburban. I went to Manchester, VT yesterday, and went in this old bookstore, and I didn't even see a chain bookstore anywhere. It was wonderful. An old building, hand written staff recommendations on everything. The kind of place I could see myself hanging out. I don't know what I'm writing this. It's like I'm trying to find some other lost soul searching the Internet for someone too. I wish I knew that someone read this, and cared. Not is a creepy way, but just to say "hey. I'm out here too."

Project365

So, I discovered, less than an hour ago, a really cool app/projec called Project365. The idea is basically to take a picture everyday. Not only will this make the user a better photographer, but the end result is a year of documented photographs. It is a free app, and therefore worth the download. Honestly, I wouldn't have paid for this just because it's really nothing more than a good idea.

I also found another awesome app that WAS worth the 1.99 that I paid, plus an additioanl .99 upgrades. It's called Hipstamatic, a camera app which digitally recreates old school Hipstamatic cameras, with changeable lens, films, and flashbulbs. Now, typically I'm not one for camera apps because, ya know, the camera came with the phone, but this one is soooooo cool!
Here is photographic evidence:









And in closing, a nice and maybe useful tip I found out about iPhones: if you briefly tap the home button and the sleep button, you get a screen shot. Kinda like this



Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

AAAHHHH!!!!

This semester is so close to being over I can taste it. I feel like I did senior year of high school when I just stopped doing things as the semester came to a close. I skipped two classes and didn't do any homework just today. Hopefully this won't last until the end of the semester because I don't want to screw up my GPA.


So, ever since I heard about black rice, I have wanted to try it. I don't remember where I first saw the recipe, but it was for a black rice pudding, a traditional breakfast/occasional dessert in Southeast Asia, consisting primarily of black rice, sugar, and coconut milk. I have a very illustrated Asian cookbook that I used for the first time to make this, and it came out exactly as I imagined it would.

I also made a blackberry simple syrup, put it in the freezer to cool faster, forgot about it, and it is currently in the fridge thawing.

Alright, dog's laying on my lap trying to catch the arrow on the screen. Guess I'm done for today.

I should be doing English homework. I don't want to. I'm distracted far too easily.

I can't do anything. I wish I had more to say right now. I'm angry and frustrated.

All of my emotions are towards different people. I need to do something.

Invincible.

I always feel so trendy when I blog in public. I'm sitting in a little booth at Panera, sipping on a coffee and killing some time before work. I got the Creamy Tomato soup in a bread bowl, which is basically just lots of bread with some soup: bowl, part they cut out to make the bowl, baguette that comes with everything, and croutons in the soup. Insane. But I do throughly enjoy good, crusty bread, so this wins. I keep getting nervous that someone is going to come over and ask to sit with me. I don't know why, there are plenty of empty seats, but I don't know what I would do if someone was to sit down across from me.

I've been watching a lot of Kate Winslet movies lately. SHe may very well be my favorite actress. Both of the Hollywood Videos near my house are going out of business, so I've been buying movies like crazy.

Spring break was good. All I really did was venture to Burlington, but it was a fantastic time, and balanced out work and the rest of my free time quite nicely. I also took the dog to Saratoga for a walk. She tried to attack a horse. I swear, she thinks she's invincible.

Spring!

It is so ridiculously gorgeous out that I cannot even express it. I have been outside since I woke up, which was around noon, but whatever. Perfect day for loud music and breakfast on the patio. I don't want to work tonight because I want to stay home and fire up the grill. I also don't want to work tonight because I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow. Around 9:30, my grandmother is picking me up and we're going to Lake George. We're doing breakfast and going shopping. Hopefully, we'll be done around 1. I then have to go to work and get my paycheck, then I'll be off to Burlington for the evening. Now, this sounds like no problems at all, but let me explain how this fits together. To go to Burlington, I need to get off Exit 20 of I87, then it's about 2 hours. Lake George is around Exit 18. My work is at Exit 4. Luckily, I don't have to drive to Lake George, but still. I'm basically going back and forth all day. If I could get my paycheck tonight, that would be fantastic, but they don't have them. Also, if I didn't need to get it, my problems would be solved, but I really don't like emptying my bank account more than once a month.

I'm done now because my dog is laying on my lap (she's a black lab) trying to catch the arrow on the screen every time it moves.

Oh hey spring break

So, I'm looking at the clock and it is 12:02. Which means I am 2 minutes into Spring Break. Honestly, I'm not one of those people who realizes they have a whole week off and hops to Florida to party all week. I am going to sleep in, and I may go on an adventure to Burlington. I would very much like to be productive.

At some point over this weekend I realized that I was insane. Not a bad, diagnosed, mental hospital insane, but I overthink things and see things. Again, not like I physically see things, but I convince myself that things are going on regardless of whether they are or not. And I have now successfully convinced everyone that I'm crazy.

And speaking of crazy things, let's discuss daylight savings time. I truly believe that this whole system is a mess. This country is one of very few that participate, and not even every state does it. It is an old system that was originally introduced to create essentially make the days longer for farmers. Okay, great idea, but now we have the technology that we don't need longer days. Also, I don't understand how this affects time zones. If we start off with a 6 hour time difference from another time zone, does it just become 7? I guess I'm just amazed that someone decided that they could just change time. 2am didn't happen last night, and on Halloween, 1am happened twice. Okay, I'm not losing or gaining any time, but it's frustrating.


So I had Up from Netflix this week, and I must admit, I was thoroughly impressed. With all the hype surrounding this movie, I was afraid that it was going to be a let down, but it wasn't. The score fit the scenes perfectly (espcially the Habanara towards the beginning). The initial scene with the house lifting off was flawless, and, as soon as they are invented, I am buying one of those dog collars for my dog. I laughed, I cried (way less than I expected to, which was good), all in all excellent film.

Well, plans for tomorrow include cleaning the car, fixing the fence, and working. Nothing at all exciting.
Good night.

djuhgluikh,jmn

I have no motivation. Well, I have a little motivation, but not for anything I'm supposed to. It's like I know what I want, and I know how to get it, but I'm afraid that I can't have it.

Additionally, I did not see Alkaline Trio last night because I have an empty bank account.
I am taking the summer off school to give that some padding, which kind of sucks because I've heard that Wines of the World is a fantastic summer class.

I finally got a better song assembled and recorded an acceptable version of Hallelujah. Both will be posted later possibly.

I'm only posting because I do not feel like writing an essay. However, it is going to be an essay about horror-comedies, which Wikipedia calls comedy horror, which I don't think sounds as nice.

Alright, class now. Work at 5. More later perhaps?

Eli Roth's Hostel was released in 2005, and five years later, I still cannot decide whether or not it is truly a quality movie. I mean, I know I like it, but that doesn't mean it's good. I was just watching it on SyFy, but that was mostly just because I wanted to see how much of it was going to be missing. From here on out, there will be spoilers, so watch out. According to IMDb, "fuck" is spoken 128 times. This movie was on cable, and they bleeped it out. So that was annoying. The entire scene of Josh's torture was impossible to understand because it was all clips of words. I'm also pretty positive that they cut some of the drilling. They definitely didn't show the pussd coming out when they Paxton cut the Asian girl's eye out. There were not as many spoilers as I anticipated.

This totally makes me sound crazy.

The second on is on right now. I think I like it better, but only because I love Roger Bart and Heather Matarazzo. The only thing I really remember about this one was the initial controversy that the torturing was going to be happening to women,but that obviously didn't last very long. Not only was the first girl killed by a woman, the last-person-standing does some serious ass kicking. Assuming I remember correctly that is.

I'm still really excited about Alkaline Trio and Cursive tomorrow.

The Academy Awards are tonight. I would be very thorough and list all of my predictions, but I think Avatar and Julie & Julia were the only movies I saw that were nominated for anything.

I doing better with the whole blogging thing than I expected to. Granted, it's only been a month or so, but I think this is going well.

In closing, I posted "Sometime Around Midnight" right here.
Good day.

Productivity

Okay so. I'm back. English was boring. I need to start wearing heels.

Yesterday, I realized that I could use the Voice Memo app on my phone to record songs. Why didn't I realize this before?!?

And that lead to this!
Neither of the two songs that are up are perfect, but they are acceptable. Ideally there will be more up this evening.
The first song posted, "While You Were Sleeping," I wrote probably mid-2008, around the time I graduated. It's not perfect, actually, I don't even think it's that good, but it was the first thing that I wrote that made sense. And it's happy and upbeat, plus it was the only thing I had on paper where all the pages and stanzas were together and in the correct order. Everything else still has some assembly required. And if I had planned ahead further, I could have brought everything to school with me and organized, but that's not what happened.
"Don't Trust Me," by 3oh!3 is just ridiculous and I love it. It's actually the only song I know by them. Tonight I'm going to try to record "Sometime Around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event and/or the live version of "Pokerface" by Lady Gaga from the Cherrytree Sessions. That version is actually the one sampled on Make Her Say by Kid Cudi. It's legit.

In other news:

Alkaline Trio will be here on Monday with Cursive. I'm really really excited. So excited that I don't even care that I haven't found anyone to go with yet. I saw Alkaline Trio with Rise Against and the Gaslight Anthem the last time they were here, and they definitely put on a good show. Plus, Cursive is awesome, and totally underrated. Or maybe they're totally mainstream and I live under a rock? Who knows, but I definitely live under a rock.

And I'm not entirely sure when or how that happened. But I have fallen off the face of the Earth.

Staplers

I'm in English right now. My teacher is discussing her stapler issues. We were supposed to start ten minutes ago.

I want to fall asleep.

I haven't worked since Sunday, and I decided to be productive.
Monday I spent the day with my great-grandmother. We went out to eat and went grocery shopping. We're adorable.

Tuesday, my car got stuck in the driveway. Like call a tow truck stuck. The tow-truck driver was pretty chill though. Missed International Baking & Pastry; skipped English. Did the homework, and e-mailed it prior to class though because I was being on top of things. Clean my bedroom. Alphabetized and re-shelved my DVDs.

Wednesday, I went to breakfast with my grandmother, then took Dottie for a walk. She was suprisingly well behaved. However, I ran into my grandma and her dog there. They don't like each other.

Class is starting; more later perhaps.

Two posts in one day! Outrageous!

Being that the Olympics are going on, I feel obligated to mention that I have recently become obsessed with curling. It's funny. I went from knowing nothing about the sport, except that it was weird, to knowing and understanding much more than the average person. What I also find interesting, Albany and Schenectady (both about 20 minutes from my house) both have curling clubs. And Schenectady's is the biggest in the Northeast! However, I can't figure out how to join it. The Albany one seemed simple, but you have to pay over $200 per year. No good. But if I can figure out how to join Schenectady's, I am fairly certain that I could be Olympic material by 2014. I am soooo worried that I am going to get angry comments from good curlers. Actually, I'm not going to get any comments from anyone, but I don't want to upset the curlers, so I am going to provide everyone in Internetland with a brief history of curling and explain how the game works.

Curling is first documented in Scotland in 1541, with its first depictions painted by Dutch artist Peiter Bruegel the Elder. However, there may be evidence that it came into being several years earlier. In the United States, the first curling club was established in 1830. There were Olympic curling competitions in the 1924 and 1932, but it was not an official event until 1998.

Curling cannot be played on regular hockey ice, as the ice needs to be as smooth and level as possible. The set-up looks like this:

This isn't quite to scale because I dragged it to make it fit better, but you get the general idea. A team stands at one end and curls the stone towards the other, trying to get as close to the center as possible. In this sense, it's almost like bocce. I've also heard it be compared to shuffleboard, but I don't know enough about shuffleboard to back up those claims. Where it becomes most unlike bocce, and any other sport for that matter is the sweepers. Two men with brooms stay ahead of the stone while it's moving to influence its speed and direction. It's painfully interesting, mostly because it feels like the sport is moving so slowly, but the teams keep scoring (I haven't quite got the scoring process figured out yet), and you're sucked in.

To change the subject completely, I feel the need to do a comparison of David Bowie and Lady Gaga. It was brought to my attention earlier today that Ellen Degeneres agrees with me that they both have very much in common, so I think I need to perform an analysis.

1. Well, let's start with the obvious, odds are they're both from outer space. End of discussion
2. Terry Urban mash the two into a concept album called Lady Stardust because he agreed with Ellen and I. You can download if for free on his site. You can also stream what I am assuming to be his radio show there too. It's pretty good.
3. Rumor has it that David Bowie met one of his wives because they both had the same boyfriend. Lady Gaga claims to be bisexual as well.
4. Lady Gaga lists Bowie as one of her influences, quite possibly the reason for the similarities
5. They both have penises.

Okay that's a stretch, but I think that's all I've got for now. Honestly, I believe it's too early in her career for anymore real parallels to be drawn. This is it for today. Goodnight!

Cake & Energy Drinks

So today, Cake Decorating was much more enjoyable. No cake anxiety! We did character cakes, which should be self-explanitory if you look at the picture. I had every intention of doing a narwhal, but I couldn't get it printed in time for my 8am class, so I ended up doing Elmo. Not my first choice, but it came out really well.

Do not buy a Wilton cake pan in the shape of your child's favorite cartoon character that you will only use once. This technique is so simple and you can do it with any image you want.

Here is the picture transferring technique:

1. Print a large image off the computer (should fit a standard 8x11 sheet). It shouldn't be terribly detailed because you have to pipe it; the more of it that's just outline, the better.

2. Trace this picture onto parchment. You could also freehand if you wanted.

3. Once your cake is cooled and frosted, trace on the parchment drawing with black piping gel or icing.

4. Take the now iced parchment and place it on the cake. BE CAREFUL. This is one of those things that where ever you put it is where it has to stay, so don't fuck it up. Press gently on the parchment to ensure that the icing leaves a mark. Pull up the parchment and you should have a black-ish outline of your character. Don't worry about skips in the line, you are going to go over it.

5. Outline your character with icing in the color it should be. For example, I used red for Elmo, but you would use black for Hello Kitty, green for a Ninja Turtle, etc. For the nose and crayons I outlined in orange; change colors accordingly.

6. Fill in like a coloring book. We used stars to fill in the characters. This, however, is not an industry standard. You could just as easily fill the shapes, then go over it with an offset spatula to smooth it out.

And then you will have a beautiful cake.

Some tips:
Use your time wisely. Make sure you have enough to complete the project; it will take longer than you expect. And multitask: while the cake is baking and cooling get your frosting made and colored.
Make sure your cake is completely cooled. May seem obviously, but no one wants melted frosting on their cake.
The more pastry bags and couplers you have, the more colors you can have ready to go at once.
Try to make sure your frosting is cold when you use it. As you hold it, it will warm up and get loose.
Be careful with colored frosting. Darker colors will stain, and it is better to use a disposable pastry bag for them. Also, I have a giant red spot on my arm from Elmo.

That's all I have to say about that.

I would also like to talk about energy drinks. I was never a fan before, but lately I've totally been getting into them. Right now, I am drinking an Amp Energy drink, which is going to "bring my mind to a whole new level to keep connected, focused, and alerted." It will also "sharpen my game." I'm slightly skeptical.

I find it interesting that they are calling this an energy supplement, which I guess it is, but I don't think people really think of it as a supplement. If that's the case, why aren't Pepsi and coffee supplements? Speaking of Pepsi, the website I took that picture from stated that this flavor of Amp tasted like Pepsi Blue. From my vague memory of Pepsi Blue, I'd have to say I agree, this is probably less syrupy sweet, but the flavors are about the same.

Another thing about energy drinks that peeks my curiosity is the ingredients and their functions. Obviously, caffeine is included, but what are all those other ingredients?

Let's start off with taurine. Commonly rumored to be derived from bull urine, semen, or bile, in all food or medical uses, it is synthetic. Taurine occurs naturally in many foods, especially meat and seafood. Interestingly, it has not been proven to increase energy. It is necessary to skeletal and muscular function, and may lower blood pressure, but no increase in energy. So it seems that it has no adverse effects, but also does no good, except to maybe fix the spike in blood pressure caused by caffeine? I'm clueless. This needs more research than I'm willing to do right now.

Guarana seed however, seems to be more useful. It contains about double the caffeine found in coffee beans. The seeds come from the guarana plant, a member of the maple family that grows primarily in the Amazon. Brazil actually produces several guarana based soft drinks.

Another key player: ginseng. Typically found in "tea" varieties of drinks or "functional foods," it is also used in either its root or leaf state as a dietary aid for people with type II diabetes and sexual dysfunction in males. However, nonclinical uses tend to be too low in dosage to have much effect, similar to taurine.

This drink inparticular boasts that its L-theanine will help me to focus, but its dosage is only 12mg, whereas the taurine and guarana are 148 mg and 124 mg, respectively. Wikipedia has relatively little information here, but basically, it reduces mental and physical stress, and improves mood in a manner similar to caffiene. It also mentions that there is little to no harmful effects in large doses. So why does this only contain 12mg? I'm going to assume that's because there hasn't been enough research done.

Okay, I feel that this post has been thoroughly informative, and more of a step in the right direction. Adieu!

p.s.
Blogger, can you please start putting my images where I leave the cursor? It's a pain in the ass to move them.

The Writing Process

No, not the high school bullshit researchreviseresearchheadexplodes writing process. My writing process. My inspiration. I am a mess. Seriously, in the past ten minutes I've probably found snipets (literally, torn pieces of paper and everything) of 3 or 4 songs/poems that I've written and shoved in the pocket of my jeans, just to come home and be like, "Eh, I'll deal with this later." Not to mention the group stored in my phone that I tend to forget about.

So I'm sitting in bed with my guitar trying to assemble something, fill in gaps, figure out what works with which melody, tone, etc. It's frustrating. Not to mention that the inspiration comes from people and places and everything all at once in a jumbled mess. Like, if I want to write a song about someone, I don't want them to have to share it with someone else, but, simultaneously, it might not be clicking. And I don't believe that when you write for yourself (as in something not required), that you can half-ass anything. You become the only person you're letting down if you think what you've created sounds like shit. Honestly, this is probably the only situation where I don't take the easy way out.

I like passion. I like when people have something to give a shit about. I don't like people who take art and music as a technical thing. Who is anyone to say that I need X choruses and Y verses. I will put a chorus and verse wherever I see fit, goddammit. And I can barely even talk about rhyming: it has a time and place. Don't make a list of words that rhyme, make the lines evolve around that; you will sound like Dr. Seuss. If you can't think of something that sounds good, then it's just not going to happen. And it's not just the rhyme that can affect how it sounds. If your voice isn't singing it right, then it isn't going to sound right. If you listen to Paranoia in B Major by The Avett Brothers, there's a line that says, "And if love is a game, girl, then you're gonna win./I'll spend the rest of my life bringing victory in." Just reading that I don't think it sounds good, but when he sings it, you can feel the passion in the words. He means what he's saying, and I firmly believe that that is one of the key factors in quality writing.

Okay, I've satisfied my need to vent. Maybe tomorrow I'll get something recorded and post it. Unlikely, but perhaps.

Hello again.

So I obviously haven't posted in quite some time. Let's recap the past year or so:

I've had two cars die and one not start on a regular basis (it just needed a battery though). I am currently driving a 2000, which after the 1994 and 1992 is practically brand new!

My love life is still, more or less, nonexistent, and I'm totally fine with that. My pretend valentine did get me real flowers though.

I got a new job! I'm a line cook. And apparently the industry standard that servers and cooks don't get along does not exist here. For the most part, I work with wonderful people. It is also improving my Spanish, which didn't exist before.

I don't think I was even in school when I started this. Culinary school is awesome! Even classes that are involve waiting tables aren't terrible because no one in the class is particularly fond of it. However, I did confirm my suspicions that I was not/never will be a cake decorator. I now suffer from severe cake anxiety.

Other important events of 2009:
Lady Gaga. I have a t-shirt.
I'm still working my way through the 1001 movies you must see before you die. Not even sure if I mentioned that before, but I was definitely working on it.
I am now an avid fan of mash-ups. Hopefully, I will be able to figure out how to choose awesome songs to put together (who would've though Jay-z and Radiohead would be perfect?!) and start creating some of my own.

I think that's about it. I wish my life was more fun and exciting. I also wish I knew what I was going to turn this blog into. I have a feeling it is not so much going the food route anymore because I'm never home and I pretty much don't cook ever. So unless it's pictures of this I make at school it probably won't be here. If anyone is out there in Itnernetland, you should let me know what you want to read about.

Well, back to the list of movies for a brief moment. I spent my day today (my only real day off all week) watching movies. For whatever reason, today was mostly documentaries, and if you're at all into food or what you eat, you should check out Food, Inc. I've been a vegetarian for years so I didn't really find out anything I didn't already know, but if you're completely oblivious, look into it. The picture right here though has absolutely nothing to do with Food, Inc. It's from Stanley Kubrick's Lolita. Yes, based on the book. The movie's tag line was even, "How did they ever make a movie of Lolita?" Kubrick knew what he was getting into. I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me summarize: Lolita is the story of an older (50?) man and a twelve year old girl that fall in love. Even by today's standards, the subject is taboo; this was made in 1962. The film industry was still under pressure from the Hays Code, though its power was waning. After the film's completion, Kubrick even said that he wouldn't have made it if he had realized how difficult it would be. The actress they chose to portray Lolita had to be at least fourteen and well-developed, as the industry did not want a prepubescent girl to be considered an object of desire. They couldn't show any affection past what would be considered fatherly. I was insanely surprised that they got away with allowing him to get in bed with her in one scene (granted, it was only to sleep). This movie is the definition of "less is more." Another thing I found interesting about this movie: it was filmed in part in Albany, NY. I looked into it, and found that it was nothing involving the actors or even Kubrick, just scenery, interesting nonetheless though.

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Alright, so the internet at my house is all sorts of screwed up, so I couldn't post this last night. Not that anyone knew about it or was concerned. I am currently at school on the first of two 2-1/2 hour breaks. I really should be polishing/completing an essay that's due at 2:30, but, ya know, it's not due for two more hours.

Because I'm a culinary student, my schedule runs differently from everyone else's (except maybe music students, but they live in the other building so it doesn't really matter). And I just found out about college hour. Now maybe this is totally normal and every college does it, but I was unaware, and I am now amazed. Between 12 and 1 there are not scheduled classes. It's crazy. The cafeteria fills up for about 45 minutes then empties. It's like a tornado. Actually, right now because of it, I am sitting awkwardly close to an older man who didn't leave. He has several large textbooks that are making me glad I don't take accounting. I wish we had stronger coffee also. There used to be a really good Starbucks one here, a solid bold, dark roast, but over the summer they switched to Dunkin Donuts, and only have the original blend. Not terrible, but I know it could be better. I also wish we had better/more vegetarian food. People always expect the food in the cafeteria here to be outstanding because of the culinary program, but the school is part of the SUNY system, and therefore falls under their contract. Every now and again the pizza is pretty good, but what I had today was edible at best. Also, for some reason a little cup of hummus and pretzels is $3.25. I can buy a can of chickpeas for $.79. Not okay. And I've had people argue that it's because of the tahini. When I make hummus, I use about a tablespoon of tahini per can of chickpeas. The amount of hummus you would have to make to use that entire container is obscene. Wonderful, but obscene.



In other news, I am still a cake disaster. It didn't help that the room was too warm, so the buttercream was softening and becoming difficult to work with. The picture is doing this much more justice than the fluorescent lights of the lab, but the bumps and scraps in the icing are definitely there. Whatever, I'm blaming the school's ineffective heating system. In my defense however, cake decorating is my only flaw. Okay, not quite, but International Baking and Pastry is going much better. This week's menu is Ireland. I think every dessert we made had some type of alcohol in it. No potatoes though. Before I get ahead of myself, let me explain the class. Just about every day of the week, the school's dining room is open to the public, by reservation. There is a class that serves, another class that cooks (Classical Cuisine, I have it tomorrow), and a third class that provides the bread and desserts. The fall semester provides a glimpse into the wide variety of cuisines from different regions of America. In the Spring though, it is essentially a trip around the world. Actually, it's only Europe. They used to do Asian cuisine, but don't anymore for some reason (almost every guest complains about it). I'm sure eventually they will incorporate African, South American, Indian, and Russian cuisines. I just seems that the public is out-of-tune with trends in the industry sometimes.



But back to baking and Ireland. Guiness Ice Cream. Not something worth taking a picture of, but totally delicious. It actually tasted like Guiness, but not bitter. Malt syrup was used in addition to sugar to provide hints of sweetness and simultaneously mask the Guiness taste that would make it unappealing in ice cream. This was served with a Sticky Toffee Pudding. A moist cake by American standards. Much better than I expected it to be, after the first step was boiling about half a pound of dates. It tasted like carrot cake. Another interesting thing about pudding: ovaltine. Not enough to really taste it, but the recipe called for a good amount of ovaltine. I used to loooove ovaltine when I was a kid. My grandmother used to give it to my brother and I because it was super healthy? Maybe? Whatever, what's not to love about a dessert with both childhood memories & beer? I didn't get a picture of the whole thing plated up, but these ones were packed for the school's bakeshop.

I've been thinking. I am going to start writing more. More like I did in high school. Once I challenged myself to write 100 poems in 100 days. And guess what?! I did it. Now I'm lucky if I can get something written once a week. I'll save a line or two in my phone about daily, but as far as my career as a starving poet which has been in the works since 9th grade? I think I'm too cocky. I could've been an English major, got my degree, then wrote and wrote and wrote for years to come. Instead I am a culinary major, still working on the degree, already have a job in the field, work my ass off. Nothing makes sense. That's a total lie. I didn't go to school for English because I think I'm awesome. No joke. I don't believe that writing is something that can be taught. Grammar, sentence structure, citations: yeah, of course. But you can't write if you can't feel. I write shitty essays about topics that I don't care about. I have no problem admitting that. Sometimes there just isn't an emotion.

Okay, speaking of essay writing, I am now officially procrastinating. That needs to get done. And my coffee's getting cold. All in all, I would say this is an entirely successful back-in-action post.

One final word, I just used spellcheck. The following words do not exist: Internetland, buttercream, tahini, and could've